For our eighth post in an ongoing series right here on the blog, Kathleen Dolan, covered with flour after a night game on the left in this picture, has been willing to share what God has been teaching her. If you would like to share your testimony or a devotion with us, email kevin.wolf@delanco.org with blog testimony in the subject line.
Hello all! Or maybe even a little HOWDY!
Ok, if I haven’t already lost everyone, I wanted to share some truths about God I have been reminding myself about and they center around the verse Psalm 56: 3-4.
“But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you. O God, I praise your Word. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?”
I love this verse and have for some time. It brought me a certain sense of comfort so I began making this verse my mantra, repeating it over and over again. It would remind me that no matter what pain or sadness I feel due to another person, that if I trust in God, all will be well. If I trust in his plan, it is better (because God’s plan is ALWAYS better). It was a feeling of safety, knowing God is bigger than any other enemy – any other mere mortal I can face. It’s pretty sweet, being on team GOD.
But lately, this verse and the Holy Spirit have been trying to tell me something different. I have been repeatedly reminded that my own worst enemy can be me. That is my fears, my concerns and my anxiety about… whatever can be distracting me from seeking God’s will. A lot of times the mere mortal we have to be aware of is ourselves.
I have started this awfully annoying habit lately of over worrying. It starts out as a small stray thought that becomes a crazy uncontrollable amount of panicked thoughts that will obviously lead to my impending doom and disaster. And they are not the big worries of life. They are little and completely irrational. I allow myself to be quickly consumed with “what-ifs” and trying to figure out how I can figure it out. I am trying to solve it all, and if you have ever met me, you are well aware that it’s probably not gonna go down so well.
And I realize that again I am giving myself the full responsibility and full reins of whatever scenario of life I have. Instead of seeking peace and the understanding of God, I try to figure it all out on my own. I separate myself from God’s plan and I am my own mortal enemy.
And so I need to trust in God and God’s plan and seek him always. It is a daily mission to continuously seek what you haven’t given to Him and to give it up freely and trust that he has got your back. Because, reality check – we don’t know everything. Not even close. SO there are gonna be days when we are leery of God’s plan, but trust it because it doesn’t get better than best.
I am no brainiac, but I do know some of the faults of myself. I am easily entangled and confused daily to seek something other than God’s plan, especially if God’s plan may be leading down a bumpy road. And because I know I will struggle with being confused or overwhelmed or not knowing – I focus in on two of the simple yet most important things I know about God, at least to me:
- GOD IS LOVE. Knowing and remembering this brings me an automatic sense of peace. That everything of God is also of love. And knowing that God is love means that God has good things in store. God is all the good and beautiful and loving things in life.
- GOD IS WAY BIGGER THAN ME. Sounds stupid. But if God is not containable by me, if God is bigger than me, then I am not going to understand everything he is about. I will not get all the answers or understanding and I may be seriously confused – and that is ok. Want to know why? Because God is also love. If God is bigger than me AND God is love, God’s justice, mercy, righteousness, goodness and faithfulness are all more that I can ever begin to imagine.
And that’s a good thing.
So, not understanding God’s plan can be a good thing. And that is why trusting in the God who has the truest and biggest knowledge of what love means is the only option. Because choosing my plan, fears and worries over God’s plan makes me my own mortal enemy. And with our big and loving God, really, who should we fear? SO try and take a few breaths and think about how cool it is to have God who is so hard to understand sometimes. And trust that his love for you and his plans for you are more than you can even begin to comprehend.
And that’s a good thing.
Love, Kathleen
Proverbs 3: 5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.
Romans 8 – Nothing can separate us from God’s love.
1 John 4:7-8 – Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God, and knows God. But anyone who does not know love does not know God – for God is love.
