A current contemporary worship song has these words:
In awe of the cross I must confess
how wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness.
At the cross You beckon me, You draw me gently to my knees;
I am lost for words, so lost in love, I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered.
(“Sweetly Broken” by Jeremy Riddle)
When I think of the great love and faithfulness of God demonstrated on the cross of Christ, the gracious salvation He offered us, it sometimes overwhelms me and brings me to a place of surrender, a place of being so empty before the Lord that I can do nothing unless He fills me with His sweet Spirit.
There have been several pivotal times in my life when I have been brought to that place of brokenness, times when I had to choose complete surrender to God’s will in my life, or choose despair. These have been times when my brokenness left me clinging to God as my rock and my refuge; times when He has so clearly shown me that He alone is my light and my salvation. I’ve learned in those times to pour out my heart to Him for He alone is trustworthy and to wait for Him to show His goodness and faithfulness.
In the midst of this season of Lent, I find myself once again in that place of surrender, clinging to the cross and choosing to trust in God’s goodness and faithfulness. Some of you know that I am the mother of four. My oldest two children have both married people devoted to Jesus and in that devotion both couples have been called to serve Jesus in Uganda, East Africa. Between the two couples, we have four grandsons. After two long years of waiting on God’s timing, and for Him to prepare our hearts for this time of departure, they are all scheduled to leave on May 15.
It is such a deep joy to know that my children want to follow hard after God, no matter where that takes them, but there are times when the grief of the coming separation is almost like a physical blow that literally sends me to my knees. In those moments I have no words, only the confidence that Jesus knows my heart. There on my knees Jesus sweetly breaks my spirit and reminds me of His great love, shown to me on the cross. He reminds me of His constant faithfulness and His goodness and mercy. In those moments I hear this question: If I have been offered such gracious salvation, how can I do less than offer Him all that I am, all that I have even when that means an ocean of separation from my children and watching my grandsons grow up in Africa?
Sweetly broken, on my knees, I wait on the Lord. There He gives me strength to support my children as they make their plans to minister in Africa. Humbled and broken at Jesus’ feet I find the grace to rejoice in their excitement and share as they prepare for this adventure.
All of us face times when life seems to consume and shake us- hard times that make us look hard at our faith and ask ourselves if we truly trust in God and his goodness. During this time of Lent, a time of introspection and self-examination, I would ask, when was the last time that you found yourself sitting at Jesus’ feet, sweetly broken as He gently invites you to draw closer to Him? These times of challenge, moments when we must choose to trust or despair, are Jesus’ personal invitation to us, inviting us to draw closer, to trust more fully and love more deeply, so that our heart is changed. In accepting that invitation we can live wholly surrendered and lost in His love.